Commodore 128 Alive!

General => General chat => Humour => Topic started by: Blacklord on November 15, 2007, 05:34 PM

Title: Being an Aussie
Post by: Blacklord on November 15, 2007, 05:34 PM
Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for A Belgian beer, then on the way home, grabbing an Indian curry or A Turkish kebab, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Oh and...... Only in Australia ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an   ambulance.

Only in Australia ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Australia ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and   lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

and finally.........

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
Title: Being an Aussie
Post by: airship on November 16, 2007, 03:18 AM
I dunno - sounds like a typical day in America to me.
Title: Being an Aussie
Post by: Andrew Wiskow on November 16, 2007, 05:08 AM
Having spent some time in both the Sydney and Perth areas, I can honestly say that we're not that different...  Aside from our different accents and driving on opposite sides of the road, that is.  ;)

-Andrew
Title: Being an Aussie
Post by: Mark Smith on November 16, 2007, 05:36 AM
Quote from: adminIn 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
Understandable once you've tasted Castlemaine XXXX ;-)
Title: Being an Aussie
Post by: airship on November 16, 2007, 05:38 AM
Andrew, you forgot the fact that we speak two entirely different languages. :)
Title: Being an Aussie
Post by: Blacklord on November 16, 2007, 10:22 AM
Quote from: airshipAndrew, you forgot the fact that we speak two entirely different languages. :)
Correct, we speak English!
Title: Being an Aussie
Post by: BigDumbDinosaur on December 07, 2007, 04:18 PM
Quote from: adminBeing Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for A Belgian beer, then on the way home, grabbing an Indian curry or A Turkish kebab, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV...and finally...In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
Change Aussie or Australian to Chicagoan and do some minor tweaking of the vocabulary, and I'd recognize you puking into any toilet around here!  :skratta:  Only thing is I don't have a German car.  But my wife drives a Toyota.  That's a chick (sheila to you Aussies) car if there ever was one.
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